Keeping the Cheer without the Wine, Cocktails, and Beer: Staying Sober During the Holidays

The holidays often conjure images of clinking glasses, flowing champagne, and endless cocktail parties. For those choosing sobriety, this festive season can feel like a minefield of temptations and triggers. But staying sober during the holidays doesn’t mean sacrificing joy, connection, or celebration. It simply means finding new ways to embrace the season’s magic while protecting your well-being.

Why the Holidays Can Be Hard for the Sober Community

The holidays amplify emotional triggers like loneliness, grief, or stress. For many, these feelings are tightly interwoven with traditions involving alcohol. Research published in Alcohol Research: Current Reviews notes that the holidays often see a spike in drinking, with up to 25% more alcohol consumed in December than other months. “Alcohol is deeply embedded in how we celebrate in Western culture,” says Dr. George Koob, Director of the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA). “It can be difficult to navigate these moments without drinking, especially for those in recovery.”

Staying Sober During the Holidays: Practical Tips

1. Plan Ahead for Tricky Situations

• Have a Response Ready: Practice saying, “No, thanks, I’m good,” or “I don’t drink, but I’d love some sparkling water.” Keep it simple and confident.
• Bring Your Own Beverage: Carry a favorite non-alcoholic drink to parties. Many hosts will appreciate the gesture, and it ensures you have a drink that aligns with your sobriety.

2. Surround Yourself with Support

• Attend Sobriety Meetings: Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings increase around the holidays, with groups offering 24-hour marathons on Christmas and New Year’s Eve. Find a local meeting or join virtually using The Meeting Guide app, available on all app stores.
• Lean on Your Tribe: Whether it’s family, friends, or your sponsor, let people close to you know you’re staying sober and might need extra support. Early communication is key to active support from your sobriety network.

3. Focus on What Matters Shift your focus from alcohol to the aspects of the holidays you cherish: family traditions, delicious food, cozy gatherings, or acts of kindness. Dr. Brené Brown writes in The Gifts of Imperfection: “Joy comes to us in moments — ordinary moments. We risk missing out on joy when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary.”

Books on Sobriety to Keep You Inspired

Books can be a powerful tool for reflection and motivation. Here are some that resonate deeply with those in recovery:

• This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol, Find Freedom, Discover Happiness & Change Your Life by Annie Grace
  Annie Grace offers science-based strategies to dismantle the allure of alcohol and reframe your relationship with it.
• Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol by Holly Whitaker
  This empowering memoir and guide challenges societal norms around alcohol, especially for women.
• Alcoholics Anonymous: The Big Book
  The foundational text for AA members worldwide, filled with wisdom and stories of recovery. Nearly every single AA group will have a copy of The Big Book available for free or very cheap.
  Learn more

Activities to Enjoy Sober During the Holidays

Embracing new traditions and activities can make the season joyful without alcohol:

1. Host a Mocktail Party: Share creative alcohol-free beverages with friends.
2. Volunteer Your Time: Help at a soup kitchen, food drive, or local charity event. Service can be a powerful way to stay grounded.
3. Explore Nature: Whether it’s a winter hike or building snowmen, getting outside fosters mental clarity and joy.
4. Attend Sober Events: Many communities host alcohol-free holiday gatherings or concerts.
5. Create New Rituals: Write a gratitude list, bake cookies, or start a holiday puzzle tradition.

Stories of Experience, Strength, and Hope for Staying Sober During the Holidays

Rebecca’s First Sober Christmas
Rebecca, now four years sober, remembers her first alcohol-free Christmas as one of the most challenging yet rewarding experiences of her recovery. “For years, Christmas meant red wine at dinner, champagne for toasts, and cocktails with my cousins late into the night. When I got sober, I felt like I was stepping into a storm without an umbrella.”

To cope, Rebecca decided to rewrite her holiday traditions. “I avoided big parties that first year. Instead, I hosted a pancake brunch for close family and friends. We drank hot chocolate, shared stories, and laughed. I realized I didn’t miss the wine — I missed feeling connected. By choosing connection over alcohol, I created something even more meaningful.”

Rebecca’s advice? “Plan alternatives to the traditions that revolved around drinking. Host your own sober event, or turn a quiet night into something magical by decorating cookies or watching your favorite holiday movie.”

Michael’s Boundaries Built Strength
Michael, who has been sober for over 10 years, struggled with guilt when he first set boundaries during the holidays. “I didn’t want to disappoint my family by leaving events early, but I also knew being around heavy drinking wasn’t safe for me.”

His turning point came when he made a pact with himself: “I drove to every event. Knowing I could leave whenever I wanted gave me peace of mind. I started saying no to gatherings where drinking was the focus, and I realized it didn’t make me selfish — it made me strong.”

Today, Michael emphasizes the importance of honesty. “Let people know your boundaries, and don’t feel bad about prioritizing your sobriety. The people who matter will support you.”

Tanya’s Strategy for Staying Hopeful
Tanya, a mother of three, celebrated her second sober holiday season last year. “The first Christmas without alcohol was hard, but I leaned heavily on my faith and recovery community,” she shares. Tanya attended extra AA meetings during December and made a point to volunteer at a local shelter. “Helping others reminded me of the blessings in my life. It shifted my focus from what I was giving up to what I was gaining.”

This year, Tanya has a new approach: she creates “gratitude ornaments” with her kids. “We write down things we’re thankful for and hang them on the tree. It’s a small tradition, but it fills me with hope and gratitude.”

The Science of Sobriety

Staying sober has profound benefits. According to the American Journal of Public Health, abstaining from alcohol reduces the risk of heart disease, liver damage, and mental health disorders. It also enhances cognitive function and emotional resilience. “Sobriety allows us to connect authentically with others and ourselves,” notes Dr. Laura McKowen, author of We Are the Luckiest: The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life.

A Personal Plea: Seek Help If You’re Struggling

The holidays can magnify feelings of isolation or despair for those battling alcohol use. If you’re struggling, reach out for help. Organizations like Alcoholics Anonymous, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), and local recovery groups are ready to support you.

Sobriety isn’t about deprivation; it’s about freedom. It’s about finding joy that isn’t reliant on a substance and embracing a life of clarity and purpose. If you’re reading this and feel overwhelmed, know that there’s a community of people who understand. Take the first step — you’re worth it.

This season, let’s rewrite the narrative: cheer doesn’t come in a bottle; it comes from within. Happy sober holidays!

Mocktail Recipes to Brighten the Season

Cranberry Orange Spritz

• 1/2 cup cranberry juice
• 1/4 cup freshly squeezed orange juice
• Top with sparkling water
• Garnish with rosemary and fresh cranberries

Holiday Spiced Apple Cider

• 1 cup warm apple cider
• 1 cinnamon stick
• A splash of vanilla extract
• Garnish with an orange slice

Ginger Lime Sparkler

• 1/2 cup ginger beer (non-alcoholic)
• Juice of half a lime
• Top with soda water
• Garnish with a lime wedge